A Common Misconception

It seems only natural that I finally publish this long-time work in progress on Mother's Day.  I am blessed to have two very wonderful Moms in my life, one by blood and one by marriage.  These ladies are forever supportive and loving and I cannot imagine my life without them.  Without one, I would not exist and be who I am today.  And without the other, all that I hold dear and my closest loves wouldn't exist, my husband and children.  To them I thank for their tireless love and sleepless nights all those years ago.  Thank you for all you have done and continue to do!!

 

Rewind almost 3 years ago to this picture:

 



What is your first thought?  Most of what I've heard or witnessed is, "Wow!"  'Wow' is a great description of such a photo.  How completely humorous that I would have the wonderful pleasure of being pregnant at the same time as several of my friends?  And even more amazing is that we all had due dates within 4 months of each other.  It's easy for someone to look at this photo and think how easily this could have been planned or that perhaps we even all had started to try to have babies at similar times.  The amazing stories though cannot be captured in this photo.  Here is what you don't see:

 

One of these women had struggled for nearly 4 years trying to conceive.

One of these women has PCOS and a uterine didelphys.

One of these women suffered a miscarriage, had a uterine septum that had to be removed by surgery and has endometriosis.

One of these women tried for months and months with no results.

 

But what does the world see?  Happy soon-to-be Mamas. 

 

But the world misses something beautiful by not knowing the background stories.  The world misses the tears of frustration and agony of seeing other women and even teens bringing home babies and cuddling them in their arms.  The similar pain that comes when hearing that a friend or family member or even an actress is expecting a child.  The world misses the continuous prayers, charting, temperature taking, ovulation testing, and counting of cyle days.  It misses the roller coaster of emotion each month as a woman's hopes float high in the air, longing that this would be the month she'd see a plus sign on a little white stick.  The disappointment of a negative result again.   And realizing the world moves on as she mourns for what isn't there.

 

The tearful acceptance that it just might be God's will for her not to carry a baby and learning to solely find joy in HIM.

 

But after all of that heartache-- the world misses the best thing:  God's showering of blessing.  The praises being sung to heaven for a prayer answered.  The dances of joy between a husband and a wife who have longed for this news for what seems like ever.  The amazement of friends who week after week during connection group say, "You'll never believe this, but we're expecting too!"  The divine happening of it all.  And knowing that only God can make a baby.

 

Sometimes a picture isn't worth a thousand words.

 

So to all of you who long for a child and wait--know that you're not alone,  and that just because you see someone with a child or two... or more-- it doesn't mean they don't understand your pain and empathize with you.  We do not know what lies ahead or why, but we learn in trials to rely deeply on God and thank him for the paths that he has chosen for us to walk, no matter where they lead.  To Him be all Glory for ever and ever.